Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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