sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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