didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
