11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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