At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
