Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
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LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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