Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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