I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize