If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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