she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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