I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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