lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
