Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
