Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
