All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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