This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
