Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
