Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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