Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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