It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
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i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
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She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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