how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
