somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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