he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize