Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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