i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
