not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
