Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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