I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize