The maid of honor just puked.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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