you win again, gameday.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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