I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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