Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
