so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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