Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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