I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
