chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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