I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
