Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
