You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
