I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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