wrigley field is MILF paradise
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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