Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
