i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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