Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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