Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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