Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
