we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
