Got a toothbrush?
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
