hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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