just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
