Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
