my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
