we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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