i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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